Have THAT Conversation
I get asked this question all the time as a Performance Coach:
“My friend is stuck in _____ , how would you get them unstuck?”
The short answer is by getting people out of their current thought loops. Once people change their thinking, they begin to build new habits. The quote below comes to mind:
“New goals don’t deliver new results. New habits do. And habit building is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results.”
In my last newsletter, I mentioned several ways to practically challenge yourself to get out of the box of your comfort zone. Remember: being comfortable with discomfort leads to growth.
An unlikely source to find discomfort? By practicing Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence is defined by Daniel Goleman (1) as
“being aware that emotions can drive our behavior and impact people
(positively and negatively), and learning how to manage those emotions –
both our own and others.”
At a personal level, emotional intelligence helps us:
- Have uncomfortable conversations without hurting feelings
- Manage our emotions when stressed or feeling overwhelmed
- Improve relationships with the people we care about
At work, emotional intelligence can help us:
- Resolve conflicts
- Coach and motivate others
- Create a culture of collaboration
- Build psychological safety within teams
Emotional Intelligence is a skill that can be learned and measured. Armed with this information, here is how you could take action:
- Set up a conversation with someone you respect and is competent to listen and give sound advice.
- Share thoughts you believe are driving fear, anxiety, or doubt.
- Ask them to help you put them into perspective.
This sounds incredibly simple and obvious – but you’d be surprised how many avoid this level of conversation. Our need to feel esteemed and seen as strong overrides this basic tool for personal growth.
HAVE A CONVERSATION. HAVE THAT CONVERSATION!
Challenge: hit the reply button and share a recent conversation and how it impacted you.